This crazy year has done just about everything it could to me. I've moved twice, made new friends, lost great friends, started a career, became inspired, fell in love, had at least twenty mental breakdowns, and still made it through to the other side.
Professionally, this year took me to places I had never been. I filmed a feature, met some amazing artists and directors, started my own screenplay, booked my first professional show, gained a following singing with my roommate, and somehow became a test dummy for a very insightful cinematographer in the suburbs. The blessings just keep coming for me, professionally, and I love every minute. Now I have to start gearing up for Pilot season in the spring... Yay!
On a very personal note, this year had me in every extreme. I've had days where everything is going perfectly, and I've had days where I've felt like ending it all. I've had days of complete artistic inspiration and motivation, and I had many days I couldn't will myself to get off my couch or out of my bed. I've met some incredible people, and I've made some great friends, but unfortunately I have also felt great loss in friendship this year. I have felt unconditional love from family and friends, but I have also felt great resentment in other people, and I've had my name dragged through the mud on many occasions.
But now on to the new year! What will 2016 bring for me? I only hope it brings me as much craziness as 2015, simply because, while not my favorite year, it was one of the most memorable. Instead of planning and writing and scheming a thousand new ways to better myself in the new year, I've decided upon only three 'resolutions' to live by in 2016 (and these will hopefully last me all year).
1. My first resolution is to be satisfied with my journey. Watching all my friends grow up, get married, have successful careers, and do extraordinary things has made me question where I am and where my life is going. I need to let it all go and realize that this is my journey and my life. Just because I'm not a film star yet or planning a wedding or even putting on pants every single day does not make my journey any less important than anyone elses. I have to teach myself to stop comparing, stop creating jealousy and resentment, and to just let my life be what it is for now.
2. My second resolution is to stop being so hard on myself. The way I talk to myself in my head is absolutely disgraceful, and the fact that I know that and still continue to act that way is completely absurd. So, this year I'm going to do something about it. If I find myself beating myself up over the smallest thing, I'm going to give myself some grace. I can't talk down to myself the way I always do, it's not good for my mental or physical health.
3. My third resolution is more light hearted: I want to hand make all of my Christmas gifts this year. Yes, that will require extensive planning, but hopefully it'll be worth it when I save a lot of money and am not running all over Chicago trying to find the perfect gift for everyone at the last minute.
So, welcome 2016! Hopefully, you'll bring me all the goodness, sadness, lunacy, drama, and blessings that the previous year did, and even more! I'm looking forward to it.